Lesson Learned: Instructions and personality type
A while back, I lost a good friend and last week, I realized that some of my behavior must have been so irritating for him. For those that do not know me, I am a results orientated person, often referred to a Type A. My friend, let’s call him Curly, had his healthy streak of Type A but he was a Collaborator at his core. He was at his happiest when he got to work with others creating something, especially to improve the life of others.
Me, I tend towards having frank and direct discussions, which for the most part works, because when I misstep, I am able to notice and recover the situation. The fact that I only became aware of this behavior this weekend, is totally embarrassing to me. Hopefully this post will help others learn through my mistakes.
So, the behavior
I tend to make statements or suggestions that certain very collaborative personalities, such as Curly, can easily construe as instructions. OK, in some cases, they were instructions. Well intended but instructions never the less. Intent does not equal impact. While he never said anything about my behavior, I remember one occasion, it was obvious that I had made him angry but then, being the great collaborative person that he was, he smoothed over the situation, cracked a joke and we moved on.
We never revisited the event and I remained blissfully ignorant………..until this weekend when someone else educated me.
Now I wonder, how many other people had this same reaction to my “instructions”….if you did?